Much Love
by YaoiPhox
Summary: HidaKuzu! MPreg. Haters N Flamers BEGONE. Read 'How Much Love' if you haven't already.
1. Chapter 1

Alright folks, please forgive me for this idea occurred to me while on dA. You see, I put up a picture of Hidan, Kakuzu, and their child... and... well... one person said something about how they wondered who the 'mother' was and well... usually it's Hidan in stories, right? Well... anything I've read in which Kakuzu is pregnant were a bit... scary... So!: I am going to attempt one that won't seem too bad (hopefully). I hope I can keep them in some character... if not, oh well, enjoy regardless.

Since this involves reverse roles... I decided it should be the sequel to this one request, the one with Tobi/Madara/Zetsu and Hidan/Kakuzu for kisaitaluvr.

Also: I do NOT appreciate cowardly flaming/bashing just because of the pairing. You do not like having a little change, FUCK OFF! Don't just leave REVIEWS (which are supposed to provide advice or support or help) that insult me or the pairing. I support KakuHida but I think it's nice for Kakuzu to be bottom boy at least once in his life. If you truly love someone then something like this won't be a problem. And trust me, I make it to where Kakuzu isn't to happy with this either... just read the first line for crying out loud. Sorry, had to vent. I hope you other people enjoy this little change.

PAIRINGS: HidaKuzu (w/ KakuHida)

* * *

"OH FUCK NO!" Kakuzu's voice rang throughout the hideout of the ones formally dubbed Akatsuki.

Sasori jumped, spilling his tea on Deidara's breakfast. They were all in Beast Village with Phox, their deaths successfully faked. They were now her special Anbu group, each with their own nickname. Sasori had been dubbed Marionette, Kakuzu was RagDoll, Hidan was Immortal, Deidara had been given the nickname of FireBomb.

You see, Phox, the leader of the small village named the Beast Village had sneaked into the Akatsuki. She had started by befriending Itachi long before introducing herself. He too was one of the Anbu, but still with the Akatsuki. Although his days with them were numbered once Deidara's death by bombing had been successfully faked. His body, like the other members' had been replaced with an advanced clone, courtesy Phox. You should get the idea so, back to this mornings strange outburst.

Sasori and Deidara exchanged an anxious glance with one another as Phox calmly entered the kitchen. They looked to her in question.

"You'll see in five, four three, two..." They heard someone running for the kitchen.

Hidan dove in just as a familiar mask shot fire above his head. He scrambled over to hide behind the other three as Kakuzu stormed inside, eyes giving Hidan one hell of a death glare.

"You! Fucking! BASTARD!" He seethed.

"I told you! I had nothing to fucking do with this!" Hidan cried out.

"BULL-FUCKING-SHIT!" Kakuzu roared.

"He really didn't, Kakuzu. I did." Phox's eyes met Kakuzu's.

"You...?" Hidan and Kakuzu replied.

"I told Orochimaru to whip something special up for the two of you on the night of your anniversary... the one night you let Hidan top you. If I am not mistaken that would be about a month ago, no?" Sasori suddenly got a bad feeling and stood, sneaking the blonde away from the other three, but remaining in the kitchen, curiosity getting the better of him.

"So... You're saying that Kabuto wasn't lying..." Kakuzu's rage was just barely suppressed then... the dam broke, "WHEN HE SAID I WAS FUCKING PREGNANT!"

Just now... some form of Hell has indeed frozen over as well as a river.

"Y-You're what?" Sasori and Deidara gulped when Kakuzu leered at the two artists.

"He said he's 'fucking pregnant'." Hidan jolted when the leer was suddenly directed at him.

"**Ha. Sucks for you**. Yeah, I pity the child." Zetsu appeared from the floor, startling most of them.

"There won't be a child." Kakuzu glared coldly to which Hidan winced.

"RagDoll, please return to your room." Phox sighed, "Immortal, you will be rooming with those two until RagDoll has calmed down." She motioned to the two artists whom gave a nod then led a shaky Hidan from the room.

"You will be having your hands full, Phox..." Zetsu noted.

"Well, any progress with Weasel's death scene?" She ignored his snide remark.

"Why don't you come and see for yourself?" Zetsu replied with a drawl then added, "**I'm sure they won't harm each other **_**too **_**badly.**"

"Not funny. But you're right, I will come and watch for myself. After faking his death, I'll be at my limit." Phox concluded.

"Alright. **Off we go...**"

–

Kakuzu stormed around his room, throwing things about in a tantrum. Now, I know he may seem calm on the exterior... however... Kakuzu is known for having a short temper given how quickly he went through his partners before Hidan. He marched into the bathroom and glared at his reflection in the wall mirror. He glared particularly hard at where the womb (grown no doubt due to that odd potion Phox had given him the first time, then brought to life by what Orochimaru had given him just before his second time of having Hidan top him) was located. Then he groaned, feeling nauseous. 'Bring on the morning sickness...' He thought mutinously, kneeling by the toilet. Hidan was going to pay.

–

Hidan paced Sasori and Deidara's large room, worrying about Kakuzu. Then he worried about the baby and then finally what Kakuzu would do to it or even what the new-found... mom... would do to the... dad... Hidan stopped suddenly. Deidara looked up from the bed, questioning. He jumped when Hidan doubled over in laughter. The blonde looked at his redheaded lover and then the two approached the insane immortal.

"Hidan... what's so funny, un?"

"You do realize Kakuzu is quite possibly plotting your painless demise in your guys' room as you stand here laughing like a buffoon." Sasori added with a drawl.

"I-I know but—I just realized," He paused to laugh some more, "he'll be a fucking mother! I'll be the father!"

Sasori blinked. Then he was startled when Deidara partook in the laughter. He began to sneak from the room, worried about what the two crazed Akatsuki members would do. Once he was free he heaved a sigh then headed for Kakuzu and Hidan's shared room. He opened the door and found the room trashed and devoid of life. He was about to leave when he heard retching from the side bathroom.

"F-Fucking Hidan. Fucking babies. Fucking fan serv–" Kakuzu's brief curses were cut off as he heaved once more.

"Want me to get Orochimaru?" As much as Sasori hated the snake, he now had to cooperate with the Beast Village medic and his friend looked like he was in need of some form of help.

"No... I think I'm-" Another ten points scored in the porcelain bowl. "Okay... now..." Kakuzu stood shakily, using the counter for support. "I'm too fucking old for this shit." He panted, turning on the faucet and rinsing his mouth while Sasori slipped past, flushing the toilet.

"... I do believe you've got a point." Sasori handed him a towel.

"Will you help me get rid of it?" Kakuzu grumbled, wiping his face.

"Not so fast, Kakuzu." The two jumped when Orochimaru appeared in the doorway. "Before you plan on getting an abortion I should inform you that the chance of the embryo/fetus surviving past a certain point is quite slim. I would honestly wait to see how things turn out or you'll end up regretting it in the end." They blinked at him, unsure what to say.

However there was no need for the snake had retreated. They were left in the bathroom, alone once again. Sasori gave Kakuzu a pat on the back in a vain effort to cheer him up before he departed. He needed to tell Hidan about the morning sickness, although he suspected this would be a bad idea.

–

"Hm, I see. So he's already having morning sickness?" Hidan sighed sympathetically once Sasori had told him of the experience.

"You aren't going to laugh?" Sasori quirked a brow.

Hidan shook his head then stood. Deidara and Sasori watched him make his way to their door.

"I see no reason to. This is all my fault and I suppose I'll have to take responsibility." The door closed, leaving Sasori and Deidara behind in stunned silence.

Thoughts swam in Hidan's mind. He found this all hilarious that Kakuzu should be the one to fall pregnant however, he knew it would be wrong of him to act like a pompous ass. After all... he was going to be a father! He smiled at the thought then it faded as he reached their shared room. Kakuzu stood in the center of the room, back to the door. He didn't turn his head as Hidan shuffled through the wreckage of their room.

"Kuzu?" This time he got a response.

The Jashinist soon found himself crashing against the wall, sliding to the floor. Kakuzu stormed over to him, looming overhead. Hidan's eyes widened and he started to tremble – this wasn't going to end well. Kakuzu reached for Hidan and pulled him up by his hair. Their breaths were labored; Hidan's in pain and Kakuzu's in anger.

"You stupid shit!" Kakuzu snarled, evoking a flinch from the addressed. "How the fuck could you do this to me?"

"I had nothing to do with it, you stupid, greedy, cold-hearted zombified bastard!" Hidan snapped.

Hidan gulped then, realizing what he had said. He prepared for the worst, eyes screwed shut. They opened when the onslaught of pain didn't come. They then widened as he saw Kakuzu's eyes were watering.

"What the...?" Hidan rose a brow and was then dropped. "Uff." He watched as Kakuzu retreated, locking himself in their bathroom. Hidan sighed then followed him. "Kakuzu. Come on, you know I didn't mean it."

"LEAVE ME THE FUCK ALONE!" Kakuzu roared in response.

"Maybe I fucking will! Jackass! See if I fucking care that you don't want my fucking love. I see how it is!" Hidan snapped back.

"I do want your love!" Kakuzu suddenly whispered.

Mood swings anybody?

"... Then why don't you just accept the baby... _our_ baby." Hidan sighed. He had gone through this routine so often with his sisters when their babies' daddies gave up on trying to soothe the homicidal mothers.

"I don't want it!" Kakuzu mumbled.

"... Kakuzu-chan..." Hidan rolled his eyes then reached for the key hidden on top of the door frame.

He unlocked the door. Taking a deep breath and counting to three, he opened the door. Inside Kakuzu sat in a corner, knees brought to his chest. It was like he was in the emo corner, Hidan mused. He squat down at the elder's side then went to curl up at his side. The man snapped out of his emotional stupor and looked down at him with a look reading, 'WTF are you doing?'

"You're still going to be the seme after it's born." Hidan snorted. "Hell, you're the seme even now. The brat doesn't have to know you're the one it came from."

"... I still hate you... Hidan-chan." Kakuzu grumbled, picking Hidan up and placing him in their bed.

"Mn, hate you too. Night."

* * *

Hm... looks like this will be chapter installments after all...

Again, please no hate comments. *rolls eyes* They can get quite irritating when there are so many worse things on FanFiction. I'm trying my damnedest to please you all... or a number of you. Don't like, Don't. Fucking. READ!

Ahem... anyways, to all that will enjoy this: I'll be updating sooner or later... I also have a KakuHida MPreg... if you don't like Uke!Kakuzu.

One more thing: Does anyone know how to remove reviews just in case?


	2. Chapter 2

Time passed and the couple was making it through in one piece. Hidan would take Kakuzu's beatings when a tantrum came. No one else dared to stay in the same room as them though. Soon a night came and the base was abandoned for Phox had sent everyone on a mission. On this night, Kakuzu started to dream a memory. One that had happened two months ago. The one memory that he now dreaded.

–

Kakuzu sighed, pushing open the door to the room shared with Hidan. It was their anniversary night. This meant Kakuzu would be at Hidan's mercy. Hidan stood by the bed smirking, wearing only his pants and underwear, as usual. Hidan met him half way then pulled the larger to the bed. Kakuzu only allowed this anniversary deal to keep his lover happy and... he hated admitting and never would admit that the first time really wasn't half bad. It was nice to be the loved rather than the lover every now and then. That and it was cheaper then buying his partner a gift.

He let Hidan tug off his shirt. He had forbidden Kakuzu to wear his headgear on their anniversary. Hidan bent his head to lick and nip at the stitching. Kakuzu showed none of the reactions he wanted to keep from Hidan; lest he be ridiculed later. Then his pants began to be removed slowly, and Hidan went up to kiss Kakuzu, nipping at the elder's lips to gain assured entry. Kakuzu granted it almost too eagerly causing Hidan to smirk as his tongue roamed his mouth.

Meanwhile, Hidan's hand started to roam south, wrapping around Kakuzu's length. Kakuzu gasped and spread his legs when Hidan began to give a lovely hand job. He pulled their mouths apart to laugh at the miser whom turned red in embarrassment and a bit of anger.

"What's so funny?" He grumbled.

"Oh, nothing. You just look so hot begging." Hidan paused, reaching to grab something on the bedside table.

Kakuzu believed it to be the lube. Their first time reversing positions had been rough. The only way Kakuzu would allow nights such as these would be if he used lube. Hidan smeared the mystery gel-like substance on his member. Unknown to Kakuzu, that 'lube' was made by Orochimaru to help him get pregnant. Kakuzu growled when Hidan stopped treating Kakuzu's member.

"Prepare yourself, bitch." Hidan sneered, shoving his own member up Kakuzu's rear.

"Gah! F-fucking... that hurt!" Kakuzu gasped, grasping the bed sheets.

"Heh. My bad."

Hidan started to pull out then slammed back in soon after. Kakuzu grunted, wincing at the slight sting. That 'lubricant' burned a bit. Soon Hidan had struck Kakuzu's sensitive spot earning a cry from the elder. Hidan smirked at the knowledge before ramming back in at that angle. They continued until Hidan released deep inside. He still couldn't hold as well as a regular seme. He started to pull out then collapsed next to Kakuzu. Kakuzu growled, waiting for Hidan to treat his own erection.

However, when he turned, he saw he was alone. His hearts jumped in panic. He sat up, looking around desperately for his lover. His surroundings began to darken until he was completely alone in the black of a nightmare.

–

Hidan had been awoken in the middle of the night when Kakuzu kicked him. He glared down at his partner until he realized he was having a nightmare. He recalled how his sisters would often have many odd dreams when they were pregnant. He sighed then started to shake Kakuzu whom had started to call Hidan's name in hopes of clearing the darkness.

"Kakuzu! Oi, fucker, snap out of it." Hidan finally exclaimed, pushing him enough to get the man to kiss the floor. "Oh shit. Kuzu! Are you okay? Did I hurt our baby?"

"Hidan..." Kakuzu grumbled, sitting up groggily.

Hidan gave a sigh of relief. However he was caught off-guard when Kakuzu jumped on him, slamming him into the mattress. He tugged off his pants to reveal a hard-on.

"What the hell, Kakuzu?" Hidan questioned as Kakuzu started a make-out session.

Hidan moaned out, starting to give Kakuzu's erection some attention. It must have been a wet dream, Hidan mused as he moved Kakuzu to lay on his back. Kakuzu didn't protest, spreading his legs a bit so Hidan could place his mouth on the head. Kakuzu moaned as Hidan started to suck and hum for his boyfriend. It wasn't very long before Kakuzu came, startling Hidan who swallowed the blow.

"Thanks... Hidan-chan." Kakuzu sighed before falling back into a dreamless sleep.

Hidan blinked then sighed too, standing up. He headed for the bathroom and grabbed a rag. He washed his face then went over to clean Kakuzu. He had a feeling this would be a very weird seven months.

* * *

I do apologize for the lacking of length.

Hidan: Pf!

Kakuzu: Not that way, Pervert.

Sasori: Any ways, if you want more of this story be sure to vote on the new poll found on the profile.


	3. Chapter 3

I'm sorry for delay, I've been busy with my other stories! -pout- Decided to add this for a new friend... I hope you know who you are... and for kisaitaluvr, of course.

* * *

It's now twenty weeks into the pregnancy and Kakuzu is finally forced to get a check up. Orochimaru sat on a chair, fiddling with some equipment while Hidan and Kabuto talked quietly in a corner. Kakuzu was strapped down on a bed by Orochimaru after he escaped the first attempt to have a check-up. Hidan walked over to his partner whom was struggling to free himself.

"Calm down, Kuzu-chan or you'll hurt our fucking baby." Hidan cooed, running his hand under Kakuzu's shirt to pet the little baby bump."Good thing you don't wear tight shirts. You probably won't have to buy new shit."

"I. Am. Going. To. Kill. You." Kakuzu growled.

"Seriously bastard, feel." Hidan scoffed, grabbing Kakuzu's hand to place it over the small bump.

"Ugh... great, I'm getting fat."

"Tch, so wha-ow, Kabuto!" Kabuto silenced Hidan with a blow to the head and he turned to find both Kabuto and Orochimaru glaring at him, "You are not fat, Kuzu-chan."

"At least he doesn't have morning sickness anymore." Kabuto smirked.

"Yeah, but he ate Phox's last fucking pickle." Hidan mumbled, stepping away from Kakuzu as Orochimaru approached with the scanner.

"We'll be sure to keep that information in here then." Kabuto snickered.

"Would you two like to know the baby's gender?" Orochimaru asked offhandedly, watching Hidan smear the gel on Kakuzu's stomach since the elder refused to comply.

"Don't care." Kakuzu huffed, glaring up at Hidan as he nodded his head.

"Shame we couldn't check you earlier but hopefully nothing's gone... wrong..." Orochimaru trailed, staring blankly at the monitor.

"What's wrong?"

–

Sasori stopped moaning from Deidara's caresses when Hidan ran in. He looked giddy but at the same time, fearful. He noticed the two on the loveseat and hurried over, hiding behind the seat. Deidara and Sasori exchanged a look before looking behind, eyebrows questioning his actions.

"What's wrong, hm?"

"Kakuzu's gonna fucking kill me." Hidan laughed then stopped himself, still beaming.

"And do we want to know why?" Sasori drawled.

"Apparently... I am very... fertile... so um... we're having..." Hidan smiled, "Twins."

"Twins?" The artists exclaimed.

"One boy and one girl." Hidan froze at Kakuzu's voice.

"I'm sorry...?" Hidan offered, stepping away from Sasori and Deidara so they would not get killed.

"Sorry for what Hidan?" Kakuzu's mouth was hidden by his mask but Hidan was stunned to find he was smiling.

"Um... you're not mad?" Hidan blinked.

"Furious." Kakuzu smirked when Hidan flinched, "Not at you though."

"Er..." Hidan was speechless as Kakuzu pulled him to their room.

"I love you, Hidan." Kakuzu nuzzled Hidan's neck, freaking the latter out.

"I love you too, Kuzu-chan." Hidan sighed, giving in.

–

Once Kakuzu had fallen asleep, Hidan went off to find Orochimaru. He told him about Kakuzu's behavior.

"Sounds like his hormones and mood swings." Orochimaru shrugged.

"Nothing to worry about then?" Hidan asked.

"Nothing."

"O-fucking-kay then."

–

The next morning Hidan woke up to find Kakuzu awake, nudging him. Hidan groaned and sat up. He got very little sleep after going on a mission with Sasori. A simple one but still not one to sleep during. Before Hidan could question Kakuzu's behavior, their lips became occupied. Hidan moaned, twining his fingers in Kakuzu's hair. Kakuzu broke the contact first, much to Hidan's disappointment but kept his face close to Hidan's.

"You said you would be their mother-figure in the relationship, right?" Kakuzu rumbled, bringing his lips to Hidan's neck now.

"Of course, love. Whatever you want." Hidan gasped.

"You'll help take care of them too?" Kakuzu nibbled now.

"Y-Yeah."

"I'll keep them... though they'll be expensive... more expensive then... you." He paused every now and then to focus on pleasing Hidan.

"Y-You're horny..." Hidan smirked, earning a sharp nip.

"An' sexy."

"... You called yourself fat earlier."

"..."

"...?"

"..."

"FUCK THAT HURTS!"

* * *

Lol, Hidan will never learn! Sorry if any facts are incorrect... I'm starting to get confused. xD So many big terms and I know by the third trimester the woman can't lay on her back during sex. :D


	4. Chapter 4

Everyone thank KakuHidaHearts whom was the one that left the comment on dA mentioned in the first chapter. :3 I'm trying to finish this to help her own story, I Have My Reason.

I will be updating less often since my summer vacation is going to be over soon.

* * *

A week passed after the immortal duo discovered they were to have twins. Kakuzu was resting in the living room on the couch, watching the television set. It was what helped them keep up with events outside of their hiding place. Such as watching Itachi's little brother join the Akatsuki after his older brother faked his death in order to return to Beast Village. Kakuzu yawned loudly, drawing attention from the weasel whom was sitting besides him.

"Being pregnant seems to take a lot from you." Itachi noted dully.

"Fuck you." Kakuzu grumbled.

"I'll go get Hidan." Itachi sighed.

"You do that." Kakuzu leered.

Itachi went off to look for Hidan. Anytime Kakuzu started to sound 'pissy', Hidan would be the one to calm him down or take the hit. Not that he minded since Kakuzu was going to let them keep the babies. Hidan walked through the door, expecting something to be thrown or bad to be said. He was surprised to receive the opposite. Kakuzu was looking down at his stomach with a confused expression on his face. A moment later, he rested a hand over it and his eyes widened.

"Hidan, check this out!" Kakuzu ushered Hidan over and moved his hand to rest over the bump.

"Is your stomach bugging you again?" Hidan asked.

"Yeah but now I know why."

"Why?" However, seconds later, he got his answer, "The little bastards are kicking!"

"Yeah... pretty strong too." Kakuzu winced as another blow was dealt from within.

"Heh, wuss—Ow! Fucker!" Hidan hissed after Kakuzu kicked him to the floor.

"You try carrying two mother fucking brats, bitch!" the elder snapped, throwing the nearest thing – a cushion – at his lover.

"Oi, I'm fuckin' sorry!" Hidan yelped when the man grabbed a lamp and raised it above his head.

"I'm gonna be a fuckin' blimp." Kakuzu suddenly pouted, not lowering his weapon.

"N-No you're not, Kuzu-chan!" Hidan laughed his nervous laugh, "You're gonna be fucking gorgeous."

SMASH!

"A am not a bloody woman like you, bitch!"

"I'm not a fucking bitch either, bastard!"

Just another normal day around the hideout...

–

The third trimester arrived for Kakuzu and he currently had a bit of a dilemma. Hidan was under him sleeping while Kakuzu was wide awake and craving attention. He leaned down and nipped Hidan's ear. The bitten only smiled, still asleep until Kakuzu angrily dug a kunai through Hidan's heart.

"Wake up, bitch." He growled, licking blood from the blade.

"The fuck is your problem?" Hidan grumbled, earning another stab to the chest.

"Excuse me, but did you seriously ask what my fucking problem is?" Kakuzu snarled, applying more pressure.

"Ow, okay, okay! That's starting to hurt..." Hidan winced.

"'Okay' what?

"I get that you're fucking pregnant but, Jashin-damnit, what do you want?"

"... I can't remember..." Kakuzu sighed, unstraddling Hidan and getting off the bed, taking the kunai with him.

"Ugh. Stitch me back up, bastard." Hidan sat up, glaring at the hole in his chest. "I have a Jashinist gathering to go to tonight."

"You're leaving me?" Kakuzu turned around abruptly, glaring down at his partner, bloody kunai poised for another jab.

"Tch. Like you would come to a Jashinist gathering." Hidan scoffed.

"Of course not," Kakuzu took a threatening step foreward, "and you're not going either."

"As if you can fucking stop me!" Hidan snapped, getting to his feet.

"I can cut off your head and then I'll let you go." Kakuzu placed the blade at the Jashinist's throat.

"Wha-? You dumbfuck! How the hell do you expect me to get there?" Hidan pouted.

"That's sort of the point." He sighed, drawing blood.

"Y-You... you... Jashin-damnit! I hate you so fucking much right now!"

The smaller man's sudden outburst startled Kakuzu and he dropped the knife, taking a step back from Hidan. The zealot's face was contorted with disappointment and neglect but Kakuzu did not stop him from storming out of their room, slamming the door behind him. Kakuzu blinked a few times and found he was crying again and cursed his hormones. He sat on the bed, staring at his baby bump while taking deep, calming breaths. An hour later his concentration was broken by a knock on the door. He got back off the bed and rubbed his eyes to ensure they were dry.

"Are you alright, Kakuzu?" Sasori's voice sounded from the other side of the door.

"Of course I am." Kakuzu lied smoothly, "Why do you ask?"

"Hidan left saying he was going back to Yugakure." His answer made Kakuzu swing the door open.

"He what?" Kakuzu exclaimed.

"He left..." Sasori repeated.

"Damnit..." He took a shaky breath, hoping Hidan was not going to leave him for good.

"He looked really upset too..." Sasori added, raising a brow at Kakuzu's worried expression.

"Tell Phox Hidan and I are going on a personal mission around Yugakure. I'll send a messanger when I learn more..." He brushed past Sasori and donned his cloak and hood.

"Do you need an escort?" The puppet master dared to ask.

"Fuck no! I'm not some weak ass woman that needs looking after!" Kakuzu snapped, storming out of the house.

"... Deidara!" Sasori called his partner, "Go look over Kakuzu until he reaches Hidan but make sure they don't see you." He instructed.

"Yes, Sasori-danna, hm."

–

Kakuzu only traveled about fifteen minutes from his village when he collapsed on the ground. He had gotten out of shape and cursed himself for not training more often since his 'accident'. He rubbed his growling stomach and looked down when he felt a few kicks.

"Sorry guys, I don't have any food..." He rumbled, "I'm so tired too..." He began to nod off when Deidara arrived, landing nearby, worried about his friend.

"Wake up, Rag Doll, hm." Deidara stood in front of him, hands on his hips, wearing his anbu mask like Kakuzu and all the other former Akatsuki members did while outside.

"Go away, Fire Bomb." Kakuzu grumbled.

"I brought food." Deidara dug into the bag Sasori made him bring and handed two rice balls to Kakuzu.

Kakuzu growled but took them after someone kicked his stomach again. Deidara plopped down next to him and nibbled on his own rice ball. After Kakuzu scarfed down his food Deidara offered him water then mounted his clay bird.

"Do you want a lift, hm?" Deidara offered.

"Piss off." Kakuzu growled.

"Suit yourself, hm."

Deidara took flight, hiding in the clouds while keeping Kakuzu in sight. He headed down the path marked for Yugakure and hoped Hidan had not gotten too far ahead. He walked at a brisk pace until he saw a tea house. He was getting quite hungry again... He turned abruptly and entered the tea house. Inside he saw his lover sitting at a table with two men and a woman. He scowled and made his way over then paused. He was curious to know what they were talking about that was more important than their food.

He took the table behind Hidan so he would not be recognized and glanced at the menu. He picked something cheap but appetizing and ordered it in a quiet voice.

"It's been ages since we've seen you, Hidan." He heard the girl say.

"Sorry, my ass of a partner wants nothing to do with Jashinism so I couldn't swing by." Hidan laughed.

"Tch. Heathen bastard." One of the men grumbled.

"Yeah, but I love him anyways." Kakuzu could tell Hidan was smiling.

"Eh? You're gay?" The woman whined.

"Yeah babe, I told you this like a million times." The other man sighed.

"Can't believe you married this dumb bimbo, Ji." Hidan snickered.

"I am not a bimbo, brother!" The girl pouted.

"You're right... Hidan's more of a bimbo than you." The first man cackled.

"Damn right I am!" Hidan exclaimed.

"You just agreed that you're dumber than her, Hidan-chan." Kakuzu could not resist.

"K-Kakuzu! What the fuck are you doing out here?" Hidan exclaimed, "You should be resting!"

"I napped for thirteen hours last night. I don't see how you expect me to sleep longer." Kakuzu argued.

Who the fuck's this, Hidan?" A man with white hair and gold eyes asked.

"My partner for when I was in that shitty organization, sensei." Hidan shrugged.

"I'm his lover." Kakuzu glared at the casual introduction.

"So you're the heathen Hidan-sensei was going on about." The other man, one with blue hair pulled back into a ponytail smirked.

"That would be me."

"You should convert!" The woman slammed her hand on the table, "Brother can't be stuck with a heathen for long if he plans on keeping his immortality."

"What?" Kakuzu gaped."Hidan didn't tell me..."

"Sister, stop it!" Hidan protested, "He doesn't have to fucking convert if he doesn't want to."

"Tch, whatever. At least have him attend the gathering." The white-haired woman huffed.

"Not like I have a choice." Kakuzu grumbled as his food arrived, "Thanks to you, Hidan, I had to rely on Deidara. DEIDARA!"

"Rely on that dumb bitch for what?" Hidan asked suspiciously.

"He had to feed me when I collapsed." Kakuzu growled, slipping his mask up to eat the dango. "Mn... I never thought dango would taste so good..."

"You collapsed?" Hidan choked.

"Yeah, I had to catch up with you so I didn't get to eat nothing." Kakuzu shrugged, scarfing down the last of the treat.

"Shit, sorry man." He apologized, leaving his friends to join his pregnant lover.

"It's fine so long as you give me the rest of that dango."

"You hate dango though..." Hidan pouted but obeyed after receiving an accusing glare.

"You know my tastes have changed." Kakuzu scoffed, snatching the treat from Hidan's hand. "Mm, better than liver."

"Anything is better than liver..." Hidan mumbled; Kakuzu was eating that sweet treat _way_ too slow...

* * *

Love ya all!~


	5. Chapter 5

Sorry for the dekay, love. ;)

* * *

Kakuzu begrudgingly followed his lover and the other three Jashinists to a fair sized temple. They got annoyed along the way when Kakuzu asked to stop while Hidan mocked his behavior. It was as if they had reversed roles and now Kakuzu was as whiny as his uke and said uke was the one telling him to hush for his fellow Jashinists' sakes.

"Hidan, I have to go." Kakuzu said suddenly.

"Ugh, just go man!" One of the men groaned.

"Where?" He growled.

"I'll met you guys at the meeting place." Hidan instructed, dragging Kakuzu into a separate hall.

The temple was a bit rundown yet tolerable and painted with dark colors. It was actually making Kakuzu feel... good. They stopped in front of a door with no indication that it was for boys or girls, but definitely a bathroom. Hidan opened the door to find two shirtless girls comparing breast sizes. Kakuzu made to leave but was dragged inside by Hidan, drawing attention from the Jashinist girls.

"Kya~ Hidan-san!" They squealed, running up to hug him, still without shirts.

"Oi, back up slutty bitches. How many times do I have to fucking come out before you fucking get it?" Hidan easily dodged them and pulled Kakuzu into the largest stall which was, like the other stalls, without doors.

"How the hell do you expect me to take a piss without any privacy?" Kakuzu whined.

"Same way you expected me to take a piss in the alleyway that one time." Hidan smirked.

"... You are enjoying this way too much, Hidan." He glowered, undoing his zipper while his partner blocked the door.

–

After Kakuzu and Hidan left the open bathroom they went to the center of the temple where others were gathered. Kakuzu had counted twenty-five, excluding Hidan, Jashinists. He was led to a front corner where three identical girls stood. They all waved in sync when they spotted Hidan. Kakuzu did not appreciate the grin he returned the large-breasted women.

"Hey ladies." He smirked, "Sacrificed any good ones lately?"

"Mn, no but I see one standing there." They replied together, looking at Kakuzu.

"Hm, sorry but he's mine." Hidan laughed, clinging to his partner's arm.

"Oh... It's a 'he'. Never mind then, brother." They giggled, gliding away.

"You have a lot of sisters..." Kakuzu mumbled, fingering his long hair that showed. He was still wearing his ANBU mask while Hidan did not.

"Those bitches aren't my sisters. They're my aunts that think they're too young to be fucking aunts." He laughed, running a hand through his lover's brown hair, "Also, you do kinda look like a girl, dressed the way you are. That cloak looks like a dress."

"Bitch." Kakuzu snarled, just as his Jashinist lover ducked away.

"Hey you, partner of my brother!" The woman from the tea house approached him now, "Before my precious Hidan killed my sister, his _mother_, she made us, her sisters, promise to keep him in line and look after him."

"Wait... what?" Kakuzu felt a drop of sweat drip down his head, "Hidan killed his mom?"

"His baby siblings, and neighbors. You've heard of the Yugakure massacre no? Proud day for us Jashinists. They got what they deserved." The woman beamed.

"Uh..."

"Hm? Oh, right. You're topping him, right?" She received a nod, "You're a heathen." Another nod though not a pleasant one, "Then you have to convert or place the first flower on my nephew's grave."

"What are you talking about?" Kakuzu grumbled, sitting on one of the tables set up for the meeting.

"Well, Jashin won't give his gift of immortality to Hidan if he continues to fall through the cracks."

"'Continues?'" He echoed, raising a brow.

"The moment he left the temple, his number was up. It increased when he met and partnered with you, a heathen, and then he lost all hope when he gave his virginity to you, a heathen."

"... So what do you want me to do about it?" He deadpanned.

"CONVERT, DAMN YOU!" She screeched, grabbing the collar of his shirt, throwing him against the wall.

"Oww! Ouch, l-let me go! Please, my stomach is not-argh." Kakuzu winced, hands flying to his stomach.

"Hey! Let go of him, Auntie!" Hidan appeared a second later, gripping her shoulder.

"Give one good reason, bastard-child." She huffed.

"Because he is carrying my bastards." Hidan snapped, freeing Kakuzu from her grip.

"What?" She stood back in a daze.

"I said this bastard is carrying my children." He rolled his eyes, patting his lover's bump.

"W-What?" She repeated, "You lying cheat!" She accused, pointing a finger at Kakuzu causing Hidan's face to fall fast.

"K-Kakuzu hasn't cheated on me... Have you?" Hidan began to hyperventilate while his partner looked on, amused.

"No, Hidan-chan, I did not cheat on you." He sighed pulling him into a gentle kiss. "She's referring to the fact that you are usually bottom therefore, you should be the pregnant one."

"No, neither of you should be pregnant! It's unnatural!" She gaped.

"If we were Mormon or something, sure." Hidan rolled his eyes, "But Jashin himself has given birth."

"-cough-AshasGodhimself-cough-" Kakuzu coughed behind his hand."

"Oh... right... but he's still a heathen and your funeral date has been set, Hidan." The woman crossed her arms.

"Yeah, I figured... Wait here, Kakuzu, I gotta go take care of something." He sighed, giving him a quick kiss on the cheek before leading his aunt away.

Kakuzu watched the three aunts from before followed them, a cloaked figure close behind. He sat back down at the table and started to nibble on his food when the twins kicked his sides at the same time. Meanwhile, Hidan was in one of the classrooms for Jashinists meetings, fiercely arguing with his family.

"Hidan, you can't expect us to sit by and watch you kill yourself!" His eldest aunt snapped.

"You had no problem when I slaughtered my mother and siblings." He huffed agitatedly.

"Look, all you have to do is marry the high priestess." Her husband from the tea house sighed.

"Fuck no!" Hidan snarled as his other three aunts arrived, the high priestess right behind.

"I don't see why the fuck not." The women all crossed their arms, looking at him expectantly.

"Because I'm already fucking expecting twins with my bastard of a heathenish lover!" Hidan threw his hands up.

"... And you're going to die before they're born." The high priestess blinked, "Unless you marry me or some other Jashinist. But I'm the best here." She smirked, her face still hidden.

"Look, what if I somehow manage to convert Kakuzu?" Hidan sighed, doing something he's seen Kakuzu do when annoyed; pinching the bridge of his nose.

The women let him pass then followed a moment later. He marched straight over to Kakuzu, smacked the food from his hand, and then crashed their lips together. He pulled away and kept eye contact as a single question was asked.

"Will you marry me, heathen?"

"... Fuck you." Kakuzu growled, stuffing another rice ball in his mouth.

"Eh! What the fuck, Kuzu~ Why the fuck not? Don't you love me?" Hidan whined, trying to get on Kakuzu's 'good side' by nuzzling and rubbing.

"No." Kakuzu scoffed, returning his lover's glare, "Will you marry me?"

"I just asked you that and you said 'no', bastard!" He scowled, crossing his arms with a puff.

"I said 'fuck you' not 'no'." He rolled his eyes, wiping the rice from his mouth, "I believe we agreed I would be the man in the relationship not matter what which means I have to propose to you, dumbass."

"Yes." Hidan smirked.

"'Yes' what?" The other blinked, clueless.

"Yes I'll fucking marry you, bastard!" Hidan snapped.

"... Okay then." He yawned, resting his head on Hidan's shoulder, immediately falling asleep now that he was full.

"Tch. Now how am I supposed to tell them about the wedding...?" He grumbled to himself as his aunts and the high priestess headed for the front of the room. He would not dare to wake a pregnant Kakuzu.

"Welcome, followers of the almighty Jashin-sama." Her voice was loud and strong but Hidan simply groaned, his partner was heavy, "Does anyone have news to share?" Someone volunteered but he kept his eyes trained on his partner's sleeping face, the mask discarded. "Last minute proposals?" Hidan groaned when the meeting began to draw to a close, he shifted a bit, trying to wake Kakuzu in the nicest way possible. "Well then I annouce a wedding between Hidan and myself, to save him from his straying path!" This woke Kakuzu and he stood abruptly, glaring at the woman that dared take what was his.

"Hidan's mine, bitch, hands off!" He shouted.

"Silence, heathen!" She ordered coldly.

"He won't be a heathen after I marry him here." Hidan snapped, standing up only to pull a befuddled Kakuzu up to the front of the room.

"So he agrees to convert?" She laughed disbelievingly.

"Apparently." The miser rolled his eyes.

"Yeah, so get this over with, bitch." Hidan huffed.

"Alright then. Heathen, do you agree to convert to Jashinism for this follower?" She asked.

"Yes." Kakuzu sighed agitatedly.

"Follower Hidan do you agree to take this man on as your life partner?" She turned her gaze from Kakuzu to Hidan.

"Fuck yeah!"

"Then by Jashin I hereby wed Hidan and..." She paused, forgetting his name.

"Kakuzu." Hidan's aunt hissed.

"Hidan and Kakuzu!"

Surprisingly cheers sounded from around the room. Apparently, Hidan was a very popular Jashinist. This was probably due to his looks since only the men were cheering while the girls gave Kakuzu death glares. They stepped down after Kakuzu gave him a hesitant kiss and sat back at their table. The announcements came to an end after a long (for Kakuzu) prayer to their lord and then they returned to eating and socializing. Kakuzu and Hidan got many congratulations and well wishing as well as jealous comments before the meeting finally came to an end and others began to leave.

Hidan stood up, stretching, before pulling his mask from a bag and placing it over his face while a drowsy Kakuzu did the same.

"Oi, Kakuzu, nephew! Wait up!" The three Jashinists from the tea house halted them as they were leaving.

"Kakuzu, I hope you know that I trust you with your life to care for my baby nephew. If you ever hurt him you'll be begging for Jashin's divine punishment just to get away from what I have to offer." His aunt growled, "And Hidan... try to be a better father than your dad, okay?"

"Of course." Hidan huffed, hugging Kakuzu's midsection which earned a growl from the 'mommy'.

"Okay then. I'll be checking in on you every now and then since Jashinists are always able to find other Jashinists." She smirked, "Now good bye for now and know I love you... both of you." Another growl this time from Hidan to show possession.

After they left, Kakuzu lifted their masks and pressed his lips to Hidan.

"I love you, Hidan-chan."

"Love you too, Kuzu-chan."

* * *

Yay~ quick and easy wedding... were you wanting a big one? xD Oh well.


	6. Chapter 6

"Alrighty, listen up everybody." Phox's shout echoed through the large training room.

Before her stood Hidan, Deidara, Itachi, and Sasori. Kakuzu was sleeping in the corner as Orochimaru checked on the twins. They were due soon since thirty-eight weeks have passed. Everyone was going over the routine of what to do when the babies arrived. It was not completely necessary for them to help though since Orochimaru stayed near Kakuzu from the beginning of the ninth month to current.

"RagDoll is about due soon and I would hate for something to go awry." She continued, "Until further notice there will be no missions and no, FireBomb, explosions." She glanced at Deidara in warning, "Also, we need to know names."

"Uh... We haven't really gone over names..." Hidan frowned.

"And Kakuzu's asleep, so you choose, hm." Deidara smirked.

"Um... Hidekinia for the girl and Hitan for the boy." He said.

"... Why do those both sound like variations of your name?" Sasori drawled.

"Because he is self-centered and lazy?" Itachi offered.

"Fuck you!"

"Anyone have any other suggestions?" Phox asked, clapping her hands together to break up the would-be fight.

"Haruko."

"Daisuke."

"Chieko would be a stretch if the child gets Hidan's brains." Itachi smirked.

"What is up with you, Uchiha! Why me, eh!" Hidan snapped, pointing at him accusingly.

"Shut up, you're all being too noisy." At the sound of Kakuzu's grouch-voice everyone froze.

"They are trying to come up with names for the kids." Phox explained.

"Well don't. Wait til after they're born and once I'm able to make sure Hidan doesn't name them something like Hidekinia." Kakuzu grumbled, stretching as best he could with his fully stretched stomach.

"Funny you should mention that, hm." Deidara mumbled under his breath.

"Well, this meeting is over for now so, Snake, RagDoll, Immortal, to your room."

"While we're on the subject of names; those nicknames fucking suck, Phox." Hidan huffed, leading Kakuzu out.

"Piss off!" She retorted moodily.

Kakuzu rolled his eyes once they reached their room, sitting on the bed whilst Orochimaru informed Hidan of their kids' progress. He watched him brighten up when he received the news that they were healthy and had to smile a bit himself. A moment later Hidan plopped down on the bed with him, snuggling up against Kakuzu's side.

"I can't fucking wait, Kuzu-chan."

"Mm. I can't either. I bet it'll feel soo much lighter." He sighed in bliss, leaning his head on Hidan's.

"We won't really have any time to fuck though..." Hidan pouted.

"I'm sure Deidara or Itachi won't mind babysitting..." Kakuzu smirked mischievously.

–

Later that night, Hidan sounded the alarm. He ran to the cot they had in the room for Orochimaru and pushed him out of it. Before he could threaten the Jashinist, however, he saw Kakuzu holding his stomach on the bed, an odd expression on his face.

"Time already?" He blinked, jumping to his feet and gliding over. "Get my kit, Hidan."

Hidan gave a nod and hurried to grab the snake's scalpel and other such tools. Basically, when the twins were ready, they grew violent inside the womb. Orochimaru hurriedly sliced Kakuzu open while Hidan clamped a hand over his mouth, the other hand gripped in his partner's.

"We came as fast as we could." Sasori and Itachi appeared in the doorway, piles of cloth in their arms.

Hidan watched, with morbid glee as Orochimaru freed his first child. He did not bother to check the gender, handing it to a waiting Itachi before digging out the other. Kakuzu's usually tan face was pale when the next child came out. Unlike his lover, he saw nothing beautiful about being cut open while live, writhing _creatures_ were pulled from you. He watched Sasori take and clean the second child and then began to stitch his incision on his own. Hidan shooed Orochimaru (coughPedomarucough) from the room and took the first twin from Itachi.

"I wanna name this one." He pouted, plopping on the bed next to an exhausted Kakuzu.

"Which one is it?" He sighed.

"Boy. Hitan." He smirked and the elder rolled his eyes, holding his arms out to Sasori for the girl.

"She looks like me... creepy." He shuddered.

"No she doesn't, she looks fucking gorgeous." Hidan pouted stubbornly, switching children with the miser, "I like her."

"You would."

"What was that?"

"... Nothing..."

–Ten Years Later...

"Fuck you, Hi-chan!" A girl with slicked back brown hair lunged at her brother, pinning him to the floor.

"No, FUCK YOU, EIJI!" He shouted loudly, drawing attention from their babysitters on the couch.

"Oi, try not to get blood on the carpet, Eiji." Sasori drawled from under Deidara.

"Okay Sasori!" The girl gave her brother a crazed grin. "Now let's play sacrifice."

"Wah? No-no-no-noooo! OWWWIE!" Deidara chuckled as she dragged the gray haired boy from the room.

Things grew quiet and the two artists gave a relaxing sigh. It was nice 'watching' the immortal children since no real harm could actually come to them. They returned to sucking faces just as Hidan and Kakuzu returned from their mission with Itachi and Kisame. Kisame had joined them after some time, finally convinced to go with his beloved Uchiha. He was nearly scared away when he met the immortal twins though.

"... Where are the demon spawns?" He glanced around the room cautious.

"SUSHI!" Eiji came barreling into him out of nowhere, making him scream and Itachi jump.

"Down, Eiji." Kakuzu growled, grabbing her by the back of her neck earning a yelp.

"Where's Hitan?" Hidan blinked, looking around the room for his son.

"Daadddyyyy~!"

He sighed and headed for the next room to find his son lying on the floor near a Jashinist diagram. He never did get his masochistic tendencies, whining about every little maiming. He preferred to count money and read with either his father or Itachi. Kakuzu entered the room a moment later, Eiji perched on his shoulders, playing with his hair in boredom. He saw his son scattered about and handed her to his lover with a sigh. Hidan smiled briefly and then carried her to their rooms while the elder sewed the other back together, quieting his sobs by promising an allowance raise.

When they reached the kids' room, Eiji was being tucked into her bloodstained bed. Hidan turned once he finished and took Hitan, setting him in his perfect white bed after he cleaned himself thoroughly. He placed a kiss on the boy's forehead and then watched Kakuzu do the same with their daughter. She watched Hitan hold his arms out to Hidan, asking for another hug and kiss and snickered when he obliged.

"Momma's boy." she coughed out.

"Momma's girl." Hidan retorted, shooting Kakuzu a knowing, mischievous look.

"Watch yourself Hidan." Kakuzu growled quietly. "I might just have to get you pregnant again if you keep it up."

"Yay! Siblings!" The twins chimed as he pulled Hidan to their room next door.

"Tch. Way to go, asshole. You promised them something they can't have." Hidan smirked, "After all, I'm not the pregnant one." He poked Kakuzu's belly and watched the elder pale and run to the bathroom.

"Phew... negative..." Kakuzu returned a moment later, pregnancy test in hand.

"You're never going to trust our anniversary nights again, are you?" Hidan snickered. "Phox said she fixed you."

"No, I don't trust her." He sighed, starting to pull off his clothes.

Hidan watched, licking his lips playfully. Kakuzu noticed and tensed, giving him a glare.

"No, Hidan." He warned as he also started to strip, pulling Kakuzu on top of him.

"Why not, eh? You haven't fucked me in ages~!" He whined, as his seme caved, nibbling on his ear.

He grinned triumphantly as Kakuzu ground their groins together. They both moaned while Hidan writhed impatiently.

"Just stick it in me already, damnit!" He shouted when Kakuzu did not continue.

"I would... if we didn't have an audience..." His sighed, rolling off as their twins jumped onto the bed, curling up on top of their naked parents' blankets.

"... Fuck..."

–

Lol, poor guys. This is the end of this one, sorry. ^/ /_/ /^'

I bet you were hoping for something more there, huh? Hidan and Kakuzu are lucky the kids didn't see what they were doing under the covers (this time).

I hope you enjoyed, kisaitaluvr. And you too, KakuHidaHearts.

Now I have a KakuHida Mpreg to work on... Oh and: Happy Early Birthday, Kuzu!


End file.
